


What was once beautiful is now tainted

by karlitasirbala



Category: Dracula (TV 2013)
Genre: F/F, and I know the show got cancelled and no one is reading fics about it anymore, but I had to finish this and post it, i also wrote half of this years ago, i loved this pairing so much, there could have been such potential with it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-04
Updated: 2016-04-04
Packaged: 2018-05-31 04:17:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6455422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karlitasirbala/pseuds/karlitasirbala
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It has often been said that one’s first love is the hardest to forget; that it is almost impossible to tear away from one’s memory. But no one ever mentions what one feels when their first love never loved you back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What was once beautiful is now tainted

**Author's Note:**

> A tribute to these two; such a beautiful pair that could have had so much potential. I decided to actually finish it and post it after all these years. It diverged from my original ending; I wanted it to be all angst with no happy ending but I think we all deserve it, especially in light of recent events where apparently, ladies who love ladies don't get a happy ending. They get shot by a stray bullet *cough cough* the 100. Yes, I'm still bitter about it.

The curtains were pulled together tightly, effectively shutting out any form of sunlight that dared enter Lucy’s bedroom. The room smelled musty after having been shut off completely from any natural air that could make the room feel alive. Lucy did not want that; Lucy did not want to feel life blossoming through the trees, to see it in the sun’s rays or feel it in the wind. All Lucy wanted to feel was numbness; a numbness that would sink down to her very core and that would leave her dazed to the point that nothing really mattered anymore. The incessant knocking from her mother, the agonized pleas that sprouted from her mouth, muffled by the rich and heavy wood of Lucy’s door became white noise in the background of Lucy’s chaos. She had not slept for days; her lustrous hair losing its shine and its loose curls. Her nightgown clung to her, wrinkled and soiled with drops of liquor here and there that fell from her lips as she greedily guzzled down the bottles she had. The liquor helped intensify the numbness; it allowed her to be free of all emotions, of not having to see _her_ face and hear _her_ words echoing so cruelly in her head. But when the effects would start to wear away, Lucy drank more and more and thus the vicious cycle would continuously be performed. 

Sometimes, she did allow herself to feel things; to feel the anger, the sadness, the betrayal, the ever-lasting love that she had for Mina regardless of what was said and done. She would remember every single detail of her as if she had Mina right in front of her, staring at her with those enticing grey eyes that sucked Lucy in no matter what. The slight curve of Mina’s rosy lips or her small, light laugh that would escape from those delicious lips whenever Lucy said something completely unladylike filled her up with a joy that she could find no words to properly describe it. She would remember the times that Lucy and Mina would share a bed, looking at each other fondly in complete silence after the events of the day left them completely exhausted but content with life. Lucy could feel her heart beat wildly, wanting to break free from the cage it had been placed in. She thought Mina could hear it; beating so fast and so loudly. She was sure her entire home could hear it if they paid close enough attention. But Mina never said a thing; she would just smile and raise her hand to tuck a strand of stray hair from Lucy’s face and in those moments, Lucy swore she forgot to breathe. And every time that occurred, she figured if she would die at that very moment, then she would die a happy woman because her last vision would be of an angel. It all seemed like it could be enough; that having Mina close to her as her best friend, as her confidante, would be enough to quench the ache that had developed over the years as Lucy fell more and more in love. Yet, it wasn’t enough and after foolishly listening to the advice of a woman who never cared about what happened to Lucy or Mina, she confessed her shameful secret to the only person she ever cared about, to the only who mattered. And all it brought about was a pain so intense that Lucy thought she would actually die from it.

Mina had rejected her, coldly and cruelly, and there were no words that could describe the gaping hole that laid where Lucy’s heart once beat. Lucy wrapped her hand around her bottle, its contents swishing recklessly as she brought it to her lips, the warm liquid burning her throat as she struggled to drink the bottle whole. She brought the bottle down then, its contents gone and half over her mouth and nightgown, and she felt even more anger as she realized it was all gone. Everything was gone. Everything. Lucy screamed and threw the bottle against her bedroom wall, the glass shattering against the hard surface, shattering just like her heart did when Mina looked at her with such disgust. Lucy thrashed about, swiping items from her vanity, smashing her hands against the glass of her mirror, the shards breaking into her skin causing blood to trickle down, smattering against everything. She tore up her sheets, she ripped up her clothes, and then she sat on the ground, in the midst of the shards of broken glass, and finally her room embodied the chaos she felt within. As the night ticked on, Lucy restlessly fell asleep, her dreams that were usually so beautiful were now filled with nightmares about the one person who used to make her feel so alive.

* * *

 

A slight knock jostled Lucy out her alcohol induced slumber; her head was pounding as her eyes started to flutter open and she could distinctly feel the sting of multiple cuts on her body, especially her hands. She groaned, thankful that the curtains had kept the light out but extremely frustrated that the knocking had become even louder. Lucy just laid there, curled up into a ball until the knocking subsided and she felt herself let out a sigh of relief. That is, until the door burst open and Lucy quickly drew her eyes up to see Mina standing in her doorway, her face a mixture of shock and pity that sucked the air right out of Lucy’s lungs. Lucy sprang up and cursed herself for doing so because the sudden movement made the room spin and her joints and cuts ached in protest. Her sudden movement sprung Mina into action as she closed the door and hurriedly rushed to Lucy’s side, dropping on her knees next to her on top of broken glass.

“Don’t” Lucy hissed as Mina raised her hand as if to touch her and Mina recoiled as if she had been burned, completely unaccustomed to the way Lucy had spoken to her with such venom. Mina bit her lip and Lucy softened, her heart screaming to let herself fall into Mina’s arms but her mind told her that that was not what she should do.

“You should stand; you’ll cut yourself on all the glass” Lucy said quietly, more warmth in her voice than she thought she could give at the moment.

“I don’t give a damn about the glass. I care about you” Mina said so matter of factly and Lucy could not contain the scoff that escaped her lips. She pushed herself to her feet and she walked over to her bed, her back to Mina as she wrapped her arms around herself.

“Could have fooled me” Lucy said bitterly and she knew she was acting like a child but everything hurt so much and having Mina so close again only intensified her feelings.

“Lucy….” Mina whispered.

“Get out, Mina” Lucy breathed out in a low voice.

“No. Absolutely not. I’m not leaving.”

“I do not want you here.”

“I don’t care”

“Leave”

“No”

“WHY CAN’T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?” Lucy all but screamed as she quickly turned to face Mina. She charged toward her and glared, her stare icy and cruel as she looked upon Mina’s unwavering gaze that was filled with so much hurt that Lucy almost backed down. Almost.

“You rejected me, Mina. You thought our whole friendship was a lie though it’s far from it. I love you, Mina. You’re my best friend. I could not help the fact that I fell hopelessly in love with you. I had to endure so much pain these past couple of years, having to keep everything from you. I had hoped that these feelings would go away but they only strengthened as the years passed. I bit back everything I was feeling as I saw you fall for Harker, as I planned your wedding, as I saw you look at Grayson as though you could love him too. But you could never love me that way and it tore me apart. I just wanted to love you and have you love me back. I would give my life for you, Mina.” Lucy whimpered and turned away, her arms wrapping around herself once more.

“I love you and you hate me. You’re disgusted by me. And the love that once made me feel so warm and light has now dulled, leaving me feeling empty and hollow. Please, Mina. I beg of you. If you still care about me, please leave me to wallow in my despair. Please give me this one thing.” Lucy felt the tears on her cheeks but she did nothing to wipe them away. She heard Mina’s footsteps as she made her way toward her, coming into her line of sight as she stared at Lucy. She brought her hands up again, Lucy not moving away, and she wiped the tears that had left their trail down Lucy’s cheeks.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that, Lucy darling” Mina whispered as tears started to form in her eyes. “Because if I leave you then I’d be leaving the person I love the most in this world. The person who I am irrevocably in love with.” Lucy’s eyes widened and she took a step back but Mina followed, her hands never leaving Lucy’s face.

“You’re lying” Lucy whispered, her voice raw and pained. Mina shook her head and got closer, her forehead resting upon Lucy’s.

“I’m not. I swear to you that I am not. I shouldn’t have acted the way I did, Lucy. I was just scared. Scared that somehow you had found out about my hidden desires for you and that you were just trying to get me to admit them. I was so scared that it was all a lie so I lashed out and I didn’t believe you and I accused you of such horrible things. God, Lucy. Please. Please forgive me. Forgive me for what I have done. I love you. So much.” Mina was sobbing now and Lucy’s last shred of restraint broke and she wrapped her arms tightly against Mina, pulling her so tightly against her chest that she could feel the sobs reverberating off of Mina’s frame.

“Shh, my sweet Mina. It’s quite alright. Do not cry” Lucy softly said, her voice cracking and her mind racing. Could it be true what Mina said? Could this be real life or was this some twisted dream her mind had concocted? Mina’s sobs eventually tapered off, until all you could hear were her quiet sniffles here and there, bouncing off the room’s wall.

“Did you mean it?” Lucy whispered into the still air of the room, her lip quivering and her voice catching slightly. Mina withdrew herself from Lucy’s embrace slightly to look into her eyes before moving slowly towards Lucy’s face. Her eyes moved back and forth between Lucy’s lips and eyes, telling her that she still had a chance to move away, but Lucy stayed in place and Mina gently placed her lips against Lucy’s. She moved slowly, softly, a kiss full of love and promises that made Lucy’s head spin. They moved together languidly at first until their passion started to ignite itself in the pit of their stomachs, their kiss becoming one of a fiery passion neither of the girls had ever felt before. Lips crashed and nipped at one another, hands roamed and pulled, desperately trying to erase any space left between their bodies until they could mold into one. Tongues thrashed within each other’s mouths and when Mina let out a throaty moan, Lucy swore she had never heard something so beautiful. Eventually, lips slowed down and their heart beats returned to normal. Mina pulled away first, her lips moving to kiss Lucy’s cheeks and then her eyelids before they moved to the shell of Lucy’s ear.

“I meant every word, my love. You are my soulmate. Forever. You are mine, Lucy Westenra.” And Lucy’s heart slowly started the process of mending itself as Mina held her tight and whispered sweet assurances of love that finally made Lucy feel alive once more.


End file.
